Listening to a speaker does not necessarily mean judging them, expressing a personal point of view, or interrupting them while they are speaking. But while recounting an incident that you experienced in front of family members, someone often interrupts your conversation by saying, “Imagine that I went through the same thing recently,” which discourages you from completing the story. In fact, listening to the speaker's words to the end is a behavior that can be learned over time.
In her report, which was published by the French newspaper "Lefigaro", Christine Lamiebel said that circumstances may prevent some from listening to the problems of others.
"The number one challenge for a person who wants to be listened to is determining the right time," says physician and psychoanalyst Alain Braccone. "When people need to listen in times of crisis, a person with a problem can't decide when it's time to talk, but that doesn't eliminate the legitimate right of the listener is to have enough time to listen to the other party.
Do not interrupt the speaker
The writer pointed out that the decision to give a partner or a relative some time to listen to his problems shows a real interest in what he is going through. In this regard, Braccone says, "the person should be allowed to cross freely without interruption so that they understand what is required of you, a step called media communication."
The speaker will not feel that the other party is listening if he is given advice instead of understanding his position or if he remains silent while the speaker is waiting for an answer to a question he asked, which is known as interactive communication.
Better understanding of the person you are listening to
In all cases, showing empathy towards the speaker indicates that you are listening well. In this regard, Braccone explained, “It is not easy for the speaker to reveal his feelings and his problems. The ability of the listener to imagine himself in the speaker’s shoes and to understand what he is feeling enhances a kind of confidence in himself.” To succeed in this, one should not prejudge and make fun of other people's problems.
"During the practice of my profession, I realized why I thought or uttered certain phrases. This third form of communication is called foresight. It can help the person you are listening to by noting that he repeats the same words more than once. Knowing that this step It's not a judgment but a way to better understand oneself."
Making judgments based on the words the speaker said and trying to interpret them precludes empathy. After going through a failed emotional experience, saying things like “You always pick the wrong people” or “I got into this situation because I was looking for a lookalike for your father” exacerbates the speaker's psychological state.
Reframe empathy
For her part, Florence Enwell says in her book "Reframing Empathy", "The point of paraphrasing empathy is to repeat what the speaker has said using our own expressions and to ask him if we understood correctly what he was saying."